Stop Breaking My Heart

Introduction

1. It’s difficult to deal with unfulfilled expectations.
2. It’s even harder to deal with repeated disappointments.
3. It’s heartbreaking when a person keeps on hurting us. They might say sorry over and over, but then they will do it again.
4. How do we forgive them repeatedly? What if they never repent? How do we handle this kind of challenge in our relationships?
5. Let’s look at Matthew 18:15-35 to find our answers.

THREE GUIDING PRINCIPLES

1. Recognize each person’s responsibility.
   ¹⁵ “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. ¹⁶ But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ ¹⁷ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. (Matthew 18:15-17)
   
   Everyone has a responsibility before the Lord when there is any failure in our relationships. Each one must recognize and own his or her responsibility, then fulfill it faithfully, regardless of how the other person might respond. It is the responsibility of the person who is offended to try to help the offender see the problem (sin), and, if necessary, bring in others to verify if it is so. It is the responsibility of the offender to open his or her heart before the Lord so that he or she can listen (i.e., accept, confess, repent) to others. Even if the offender doesn’t listen, as Christians we still have a responsibility.
2. Respond based on our accountability before the Lord.
   ¹⁸ “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. ¹⁹ “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” (Matthew 18:18-20)
   
   When there are failures in our relationships, we must not forget that the Lord is present in our midst. The Lord is with us as we talk with one another concerning our problems or conflicts. Everything must be done with accountability to the Lord, for we will have to answer to Him. The person who is offended, as well as the person who is considered the offender, must see to it that the offense being discussed is truly confirmed by God’s will or truth. They must talk and listen to each other based on the conviction that the Lord is present among them. 
3. Remember God’s amazing generosity.
   

   ²¹ Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” ²² Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times… (Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, Matthew 18:23-34)… ³⁵ “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
   
   As we deal with our offenses against each other, we must remember that God treats us with amazing generosity. He does not treat us as our sins (and failures) deserve. He is merciful to us. In the same way, He wants us to be merciful to each other as well. In the kingdom of God, mercy always triumphs over judgment. There are times when judgment may have its place, but God would often show us mercy and grace instead of judging us. In the same way, this is how we are to treat one another.

Conclusion

1. “Through God’s enablement, we can overcome every disappointment.”
2. By our own strength, we cannot forgive people repeatedly. But by God’s grace, we can practice these three principles whenever we experience repeated disappointments.
3. Think of a past, present, or future conflict situation. How would you apply these three principles?

Group Discussion

1. Why is it difficult to handle repeated disappointments?
2. What have you learned today that can enable you to handle repeated disappointments?
3. Think of a past, present, or future conflict. How would you apply what you have learned today?

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